Sheesh, I don't know where to start. I have this ex named EJ, he ain't shit, no job, never finished school, and doesn't have any aspirations...the epitome of an ain't shit nigga. Aye, aye, AYE! I feel you judging me! Take your white wig off! I was a freshman in college and he was a senior in high school, so he had potential to be more. He just decided to not do shit.
He, like so many other of my exes/friends, called me today and asked me for relationship advice. He was telling me that his girl is super jealous, is always angry with him, and just blows up about small stuff. Nothing really out the ordinary right? She seems like a pretty normal chick right? Well, just wait.
So I asked, "Well have you ever cheated on her?", he replied, "Yeah but she didn't know definitely, like she had an idea". Me, being the relationship connoisseur that I am *rolls eyes*, I say, "Well you should tell her that you did cheat on her in the beginning of the relationship but only because you didn't know how serious that the relationship was going to be. Then say, but now that y'all are serious, you haven't been talking to any other women" *cue applause*
This is where the convo got a lil iffy. He said, "it's too late for that, I have the lie detector test coming up and she's trying to take me on Maury". By now, I'm like 'WTF?'. So I ask how long have they been together, he says 3 months, and also mentions that she has kids...2 and one on the way next Friday. Yes, next Friday. She used to be a stripper, she's 27, her kids are 4, 2, and -7 days old (all different dad's I might add), and she wants to have EJ move in with her. She doesn't know the father of the two year old (who doesn't know his numbers or ABC's), and the 3rd baby is the love child of a singer who's name I want disclose. Y'all know I'm not a fan of judging people, but not only do I have on my white wig, but I also have on my black robe AND I'm banging my gavel.
I guess I cant really tell him "to do better" when he's not really bringing anything to the table himself. But to you other niggas out here that's just fucking these bitches just because they got a fat ass and some double D's need to step y'all game up out here because y'all are #failing. You mothafuckas need to drink some of that Tiger Blood that Charlie Sheen got stocked up.
#NowPlaying Step yo Game Up by Little Brother
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