It's after booty call hours and sandwiched between 'Nigga you shoulda been sleep' and 'time to get up"...
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You ever been up doing stuff that you weren't supposed to be doing and fucked around and started reminiscing on you life? No? Well let me set the scene for you.
Here I am at 1am searching my favorite porn site to see what's new. Tonight's not a night for pleasure, it's a night of entertainment. Sometimes I just watch porn for the comedic affect; hearing a girl shout about a cock makes me giggle ever time. Laugh or call me crazy if you want to, it's the simple things in life that brings me joy.
Anyway, I'm perusing, and for some reason Devin pops in my mind. Y'all remember Devin right? He lived a couple of cities away so I would drive up to go visit. He worked like 6 jobs, stupid long hours, had a son; NO time *Archie Bell and the Drells voice*. I should've known right then and there that it wasn't gonna work cause the Kid had/has no aspirations to be a step muva, but here my dumbass go trying to pursue a something-ship and shit.
So he would say that he would have more time once he moves to Detroit. He did, but he still didn't, but he DID find the time to get into a relationship with someone that he 'mysteriously' had been having an off and on relationship with for two years. Shit so was I nigga lol. While I should be enjoying some white chick get Brazzer'd the song 'Deceiving' by Drake is playing in my mental background as I recap the moments.
Next I started to think about this other guy that I talked to who had commitment issues; man we could've been lightening in a bottle. He would give me strong mixed signals by saying he didn't want to be in a relationship, but would do blatant relationship tasks. *Cue 'Think Good Thoughts'* He asked to meet my parents (lemme say that again, HE asked), shoveled the snow, would wanna go on dates, and when I said we needed to slow down he said no (lemme say that again, I said "we gotta stop the late night talking, the kissing; we gotta slow it down for a min, HE SAID NO). I broke a couple of my own rules; the hoes never meet the parents, listen to what he says cause he's telling you what he wants, also he was light skinned.
What happened next? Yep, you already know. He started dating another chick, *read with your voice getting progressively higher and louder with each word and an obligatory hand clap* even-moved-out-of-town-to-be-with-her.
*Cue 'From Time'* He's back now, claiming that there were mistakes made in his part, and that should've been me, and that I shouldn't feel like he told me no and chose her-even though that's what's happened. But perception is everything, and every other perception that's not your own is wrong when feelings are involved.
So much time as passed, and you know what I've learned? I DONT NEED A RELATIONSHIP! I don't. I could be in some bullshit that I know wouldn't last, that I'd know never work, just to say that I'm with someone, and I never want to do that. I'd rather take the time to work on self, and let God guide the right one to me. I don't mean to be impatient but Summer '16 has been lit and whomever that person is supposed to be, has missed out on some pretty epic things. Who doesn't want someone to be able to tell Come Thru
Did I just reference a booty call and God in the same paragraph. Oh Lord.
While writing this I realized that I say Brazzer way too much in text convo bec I simply pressed brazz- and it finished the word Brazzer. Why it ain't guess I was just tryna spell Brazil and put an extra 'z' by mistake? Hm? Even my phone judges me...
