Im a romantic, I'm petty, I'm a freak. Wanting to have sex everyday of the week. It's cool not tryna put a rush on you. I had to let you know that I got a crush on you. *Biggie Smalls Voice*
Iono how many times I gotta tell y'all this...I. Know. Myself. Very. Fucking. Well.
Thursday, December 29, 2016
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Why Date 'Em If Ya Not Wifein 'Em?
Cause we too old fa all that...
and it doesn't seem like a proper use of your time.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
Whoever you are
I am apologetic to the potential obstacles that you may encounter.
Team work and communication is going to be your greatest tool.
That's a word for someone somewhere and I'm glad to be the one that could deliver that to you.
Team work and communication is going to be your greatest tool.
That's a word for someone somewhere and I'm glad to be the one that could deliver that to you.
You really can't be nice to niggas
I have too much anger in my heart to really share with y'all the full level of pisstivity that I have right now...
Warning: nothing will be grammatically corrected, I'm not re-reading, if it doesn't make any sense charge it to my head, not my heart.
So the other day, I decided to share one of my pet peeves. As a recap-I don't like for someone to tell me they have something to tell me "later". There's one singular thing that I hate more than that: flakes. I'm ok with ppl that are late, at least them motherfuckers show up. Sometimes them niggas can get the fuck on too cause after a certain period of time, it's just got damn disrespectful.
You may say, "Yo Christin, you're late too", and to this I will reply "never more than 20 min". Is it perfect? Nope. Does it make sense? To me it does, and here's why; it's pretty socially acceptable to be 5-10 min late, 15 and 20 is kinda pushing but it's acceptable as long as the person lets you know. I'm that person. I'm that person that's always gonna be late, but imma tell you. Another thing that you can count on is the fact that I'm going to BE THERE. Late? ¡Sí! There? ¡Dos sí!
Nothing grinds my gears more than someone who says that they're going to do something, be somewhere, meet you somewhere, do something with you but when it comes time they'll flake. The level of disrespect is so fucking high that it's hard for me to forgive someone if they've done that.
Remember how I said the other day that I'm very self aware? Here's another example of just how I safe proof my life to try to shield myself from the bullshit. I have a temper problem, I'm well aware of this, so I try to stay away from situations where I know it's going to agitate me. So if I make plans with someone and I know that they either have the propensity to flake, or I haven't quite established a trust with them where I know they won't flake, I'll install a lot of exit strategies for the other person. Confused? Here's what I mean: so let's say you plan a meeting with someone a week or more in advance. I'm going to reference it multiple times to make sure that that day and time works for you. I'll let you back out if other things come up, cause I understand, shit happens. I'll even be ok if you do it the day of cause I can still make other plans. I'm not a saint, by any means, so imma still be a lil upset but imma forgive you and kinda know from then on what box to put you in, also you gave me enough time to make other plans.
Ohhhhhhhhhh but there's that special subset of ppl who just stop communicating and never say anything. You bitches...whew. You bitches make my blood boil and my head hurt. The narcissistic qualities of a flake is something that someone with a psych degree should make a book about you hoes. You care so much about yourself and your lack of consideration and respect for the other person is de-motherfucking-plorable.
By the time you flake, you've had at least 3 times to back out. Depending on how long the meeting has been planned, usually dictates my level of anger. If it's something that has been 2 weeks or more, I've probably canceled or said no to other things in order to do w/e it was we were supposed to do. Time is the one thing you'll never get back. I COULD HAVE BEEN DOING OTHER THINGS. That's what pisses me off-I COULD HAVE BEEN DOING OTHER THINGS.
Ugh. Ain't nobody checking for you Otis. You don't have to lie to kick it, you're literally preaching to the choir. If you wanna go-then go. If you don't, it ain't no sweat off my nose but just let a nigga know.
I don't have time to explain shit that shouldn't be need to be explained. It makes me wonder if you niggas wash your hands when you finish using the restroom. It's literally that simple.
Warning: nothing will be grammatically corrected, I'm not re-reading, if it doesn't make any sense charge it to my head, not my heart.
So the other day, I decided to share one of my pet peeves. As a recap-I don't like for someone to tell me they have something to tell me "later". There's one singular thing that I hate more than that: flakes. I'm ok with ppl that are late, at least them motherfuckers show up. Sometimes them niggas can get the fuck on too cause after a certain period of time, it's just got damn disrespectful.
You may say, "Yo Christin, you're late too", and to this I will reply "never more than 20 min". Is it perfect? Nope. Does it make sense? To me it does, and here's why; it's pretty socially acceptable to be 5-10 min late, 15 and 20 is kinda pushing but it's acceptable as long as the person lets you know. I'm that person. I'm that person that's always gonna be late, but imma tell you. Another thing that you can count on is the fact that I'm going to BE THERE. Late? ¡Sí! There? ¡Dos sí!
Nothing grinds my gears more than someone who says that they're going to do something, be somewhere, meet you somewhere, do something with you but when it comes time they'll flake. The level of disrespect is so fucking high that it's hard for me to forgive someone if they've done that.
Remember how I said the other day that I'm very self aware? Here's another example of just how I safe proof my life to try to shield myself from the bullshit. I have a temper problem, I'm well aware of this, so I try to stay away from situations where I know it's going to agitate me. So if I make plans with someone and I know that they either have the propensity to flake, or I haven't quite established a trust with them where I know they won't flake, I'll install a lot of exit strategies for the other person. Confused? Here's what I mean: so let's say you plan a meeting with someone a week or more in advance. I'm going to reference it multiple times to make sure that that day and time works for you. I'll let you back out if other things come up, cause I understand, shit happens. I'll even be ok if you do it the day of cause I can still make other plans. I'm not a saint, by any means, so imma still be a lil upset but imma forgive you and kinda know from then on what box to put you in, also you gave me enough time to make other plans.
Ohhhhhhhhhh but there's that special subset of ppl who just stop communicating and never say anything. You bitches...whew. You bitches make my blood boil and my head hurt. The narcissistic qualities of a flake is something that someone with a psych degree should make a book about you hoes. You care so much about yourself and your lack of consideration and respect for the other person is de-motherfucking-plorable.
By the time you flake, you've had at least 3 times to back out. Depending on how long the meeting has been planned, usually dictates my level of anger. If it's something that has been 2 weeks or more, I've probably canceled or said no to other things in order to do w/e it was we were supposed to do. Time is the one thing you'll never get back. I COULD HAVE BEEN DOING OTHER THINGS. That's what pisses me off-I COULD HAVE BEEN DOING OTHER THINGS.
Ugh. Ain't nobody checking for you Otis. You don't have to lie to kick it, you're literally preaching to the choir. If you wanna go-then go. If you don't, it ain't no sweat off my nose but just let a nigga know.
I don't have time to explain shit that shouldn't be need to be explained. It makes me wonder if you niggas wash your hands when you finish using the restroom. It's literally that simple.
Thursday, October 13, 2016
Knowledge of self SUCKS
I am very self aware. For example: if you tell me that you're gonna tell me something later, I'll tell you, "you might as well tell me now cause I'm going to think about it all day". You'll probably say something like, "Oh it's nothing bad" or "oh it's nothing big, I'll just tell you about it later". Inside I'm already rolling my eyes, cause I know got damn well that imma obsess about it the whole time until you tell me what it is.
I'm also aware that pestering someone about it is annoying, so I'll only mention it once, but ohhhh bitch don't think that means I'm done thinking about it.
So the time has passed and it's officially 'later'...I'm geeked at this point because I've held my crazy in long enough for me to finally get the Tea!
NOPE! Just like a nigga you ain't ready when you said you were going to be and I still ain't get my story. Now, I have to wait even longer. And then anxiety sets in, cause I just GOTTA know what it is. I mean COME ON I've been guessing at it for HOURS! ...and then anger comes bringing her petty ass 😒, all because you didn't respect me enough (cause anger knows just the right fucking button to press) to tell me whatyou said you were gonna tell me when you said you were going to tell me, and then, AND THEN you still didn't tell me after I asked you to tell me. There you are over there doing whatever the fuck and I'm over here wrecking my motherfuckin BRAIN!
Oops I done dropped my crazy.
So here you go, umpteen hours later, finally telling me. Little did you know, I'm not even friends with you anymore in my head, because a real friend would have known not to do that to me.
I've never said I was perfect, I just said, "I know myself"...
Back to waiting for w/e the fuck it is he's supposed to be telling me.
Until next time...
I'm also aware that pestering someone about it is annoying, so I'll only mention it once, but ohhhh bitch don't think that means I'm done thinking about it.
So the time has passed and it's officially 'later'...I'm geeked at this point because I've held my crazy in long enough for me to finally get the Tea!
NOPE! Just like a nigga you ain't ready when you said you were going to be and I still ain't get my story. Now, I have to wait even longer. And then anxiety sets in, cause I just GOTTA know what it is. I mean COME ON I've been guessing at it for HOURS! ...and then anger comes bringing her petty ass 😒, all because you didn't respect me enough (cause anger knows just the right fucking button to press) to tell me whatyou said you were gonna tell me when you said you were going to tell me, and then, AND THEN you still didn't tell me after I asked you to tell me. There you are over there doing whatever the fuck and I'm over here wrecking my motherfuckin BRAIN!
Oops I done dropped my crazy.
So here you go, umpteen hours later, finally telling me. Little did you know, I'm not even friends with you anymore in my head, because a real friend would have known not to do that to me.
I've never said I was perfect, I just said, "I know myself"...
Back to waiting for w/e the fuck it is he's supposed to be telling me.
Until next time...
Wednesday, August 3, 2016
If this is what dating is, I understand why God wants me to be single
So let me tell you bout the bullshit on Soul Swipe...
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Last week I got together with some former coworkers from Quicken. My friend Tay and I were sitting outside of the Chase building waiting for our friends to get free moments so they could have came downstairs to join us for laughs and conversation.
This started with lunch at 5 Guys with KT, Tay and I. This was filled with hilarious awkwardness because Tay and he are in a situationship. At the time of lunch, they've recently had a disagreement, so you can only imaging the hi-jinx that ensued during that encounter. KT had to get back to work so he left while Tay and I finished our lunch. She let me know that while they've been kicking it for the last couple of months, he don't want to call her his girlfriend. Now the reason behind it is a kicker. Since he doesn't want to get married, he doesn't want to call her his girlfriend because he doesn't want to give her the illusion that it could lead to marriage... While I vaguely get the idea, it's still a firm look of confusion when I think about that response. I though to myself that'd I'd rather be alone than to be in another confusing, draining situationship. Been there, done that, bought a post card and I'm never going back.
At this time we get a text from our friend Ash telling us to meet her at Chase. If you've ever been to the Chase branch in Downtown Detroit, you'll know that there's a bunch of couches, tables and benches. The series of couches that we chose is an L shaped sectional which was a very vibrant, spring-y green. I felt like we were hosting a talk show and the pedestrians were our audience. Ash and I both used to have a crush on a mutual guy in our group. She was lucky enough to grasp his attention and they were pretty affectionate up until he moved to DC. I was friend zoned super hard, but when I tell you he was my mans; that was my man 7000 grand, but I digress. Needless to say, she and I have a very similar taste in men.
So she asked Tay and I were we on Soul Swipe. I had heard of it before, but I had never signed up. Oddly enough, a friend and I were just discussing whether they were on Tinder, how it was, what they thought about it, and whether they would suggest that I got on it. Ash let us know that she was currently dating a guy from the app, told us how nice he was, how happy she was, and even pulled out the app to show us that most that were on the site weren't Booger Bears. It could have been powered by the conversation that I had just had with Claude, the conversation that I had with the friend about Tinder, or the fact that I just wanted to have a steady conversation buddy, but I knew then and there that I was going to make an account on Soul Swipe...Why the fuck did I do that?
The first person I was matched with was named Dewayne. His first message to me was, "I'm at work Bored you a Cutie I must say Tell me a lil bout you what's not on SS because all I've seen on here is Rat face Dust Balls😂😂😂😂😂 But I'm so Different from most dudes hopefully you think in a good way....". Of course we started with exchanging pleasantries, getting to know you's, where are you from's, and what do you do for fun's.
Randomly he says,
"But I hope I don't run you away because like I said I'm a little Different from most guys far as my views on a Relationship and Friendships or whatever Babes".
At this point he's hinted at this twice, so I think God is tryna give me a clue. So I ask, "what exactly do you mean? What is so different that makes you think that I'd run away?".
"Don't take this the Wrong way boo not saying I'm looking for a Relationship just speaking in Boyfriend form BUT I feel like I'm the cool boyfriend type that makes me different for the simple fact I'm not the Insecure type of Dude I love for my Woman to have fun and meet new people long as she keep it real we would be good I love the Compition of it plus it's a Fetish of mine just hearing your freaky stories makes me want you more yessssss but over all Im simple I want Love at the end of the day"
Don't want to assume, so I say,
"Oh ok. Just want to make sure I understand. Are you saying that you would want an open relationship? So her having sex with other Guys is ok as long as she doesn't have an emotional relationship. Or are you saying that if your girl has male friends with no sexual contact you wouldn't be the type to be jealous?"
He says yes, and asks me if he call and explain it more on the phone. Psh. Nah bruh. I'm good. Not judging you, but we're on two different pages. You keep going and use your energy with someone who's looking for the same thing.
Next guy I get matched with is a great looking guy. He messaged me, telling me how gorgeous I am, asking me if I like light skinned guys and then we have about 15 min of "getting to know you's". Next thing he says is, "Aye girl come through lets get freaky! 😍😘😘😜💃🏽💃🏽"
Nope!
Next guy begins the same, pleasantries, getting to know you's, all that jazz. Strike one: I asked him what's some things that he likes to do, his response, "normal stuff". Later I asked him what he normally does on a Saturday, "things"...So he asked me what I was doing, and I told him I was watching Netflix with my dog. He quips, "don't you want to replace your dog with me?". *Rolls eyes* Strike Two. "Maybe sometime in the future when we get to know each other more", "Like sometime this weekend, right?" Bitch it's Saturday 9pm...what difference do you really believe 24 hours will make? "Eh I'm not going to say all that". So earlier in convo he told me that he went sky diving. A couple of weeks ago while we were in Gatlinburg, my fam and I went indoor skydiving, so I was really interested in knowing not only how it was, but kinda what made him do it. So I asked, "So what made you decide to go skydiving? Had you been thinking about it long?" Two word response: "Just Cuz"...Boy Bye.
This makes me mad weary when I think about the other potential bullshit that may be out there. All I can think of is the line, "I can do bad by myself, I don't need no help, to starve to death"... and that's real.
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Last week I got together with some former coworkers from Quicken. My friend Tay and I were sitting outside of the Chase building waiting for our friends to get free moments so they could have came downstairs to join us for laughs and conversation.
This started with lunch at 5 Guys with KT, Tay and I. This was filled with hilarious awkwardness because Tay and he are in a situationship. At the time of lunch, they've recently had a disagreement, so you can only imaging the hi-jinx that ensued during that encounter. KT had to get back to work so he left while Tay and I finished our lunch. She let me know that while they've been kicking it for the last couple of months, he don't want to call her his girlfriend. Now the reason behind it is a kicker. Since he doesn't want to get married, he doesn't want to call her his girlfriend because he doesn't want to give her the illusion that it could lead to marriage... While I vaguely get the idea, it's still a firm look of confusion when I think about that response. I though to myself that'd I'd rather be alone than to be in another confusing, draining situationship. Been there, done that, bought a post card and I'm never going back.
At this time we get a text from our friend Ash telling us to meet her at Chase. If you've ever been to the Chase branch in Downtown Detroit, you'll know that there's a bunch of couches, tables and benches. The series of couches that we chose is an L shaped sectional which was a very vibrant, spring-y green. I felt like we were hosting a talk show and the pedestrians were our audience. Ash and I both used to have a crush on a mutual guy in our group. She was lucky enough to grasp his attention and they were pretty affectionate up until he moved to DC. I was friend zoned super hard, but when I tell you he was my mans; that was my man 7000 grand, but I digress. Needless to say, she and I have a very similar taste in men.
So she asked Tay and I were we on Soul Swipe. I had heard of it before, but I had never signed up. Oddly enough, a friend and I were just discussing whether they were on Tinder, how it was, what they thought about it, and whether they would suggest that I got on it. Ash let us know that she was currently dating a guy from the app, told us how nice he was, how happy she was, and even pulled out the app to show us that most that were on the site weren't Booger Bears. It could have been powered by the conversation that I had just had with Claude, the conversation that I had with the friend about Tinder, or the fact that I just wanted to have a steady conversation buddy, but I knew then and there that I was going to make an account on Soul Swipe...Why the fuck did I do that?
The first person I was matched with was named Dewayne. His first message to me was, "I'm at work Bored you a Cutie I must say Tell me a lil bout you what's not on SS because all I've seen on here is Rat face Dust Balls😂😂😂😂😂 But I'm so Different from most dudes hopefully you think in a good way....". Of course we started with exchanging pleasantries, getting to know you's, where are you from's, and what do you do for fun's.
Randomly he says,
"But I hope I don't run you away because like I said I'm a little Different from most guys far as my views on a Relationship and Friendships or whatever Babes".
At this point he's hinted at this twice, so I think God is tryna give me a clue. So I ask, "what exactly do you mean? What is so different that makes you think that I'd run away?".
"Don't take this the Wrong way boo not saying I'm looking for a Relationship just speaking in Boyfriend form BUT I feel like I'm the cool boyfriend type that makes me different for the simple fact I'm not the Insecure type of Dude I love for my Woman to have fun and meet new people long as she keep it real we would be good I love the Compition of it plus it's a Fetish of mine just hearing your freaky stories makes me want you more yessssss but over all Im simple I want Love at the end of the day"
Don't want to assume, so I say,
"Oh ok. Just want to make sure I understand. Are you saying that you would want an open relationship? So her having sex with other Guys is ok as long as she doesn't have an emotional relationship. Or are you saying that if your girl has male friends with no sexual contact you wouldn't be the type to be jealous?"
He says yes, and asks me if he call and explain it more on the phone. Psh. Nah bruh. I'm good. Not judging you, but we're on two different pages. You keep going and use your energy with someone who's looking for the same thing.
Next guy I get matched with is a great looking guy. He messaged me, telling me how gorgeous I am, asking me if I like light skinned guys and then we have about 15 min of "getting to know you's". Next thing he says is, "Aye girl come through lets get freaky! 😍😘😘😜💃🏽💃🏽"
Nope!
Next guy begins the same, pleasantries, getting to know you's, all that jazz. Strike one: I asked him what's some things that he likes to do, his response, "normal stuff". Later I asked him what he normally does on a Saturday, "things"...So he asked me what I was doing, and I told him I was watching Netflix with my dog. He quips, "don't you want to replace your dog with me?". *Rolls eyes* Strike Two. "Maybe sometime in the future when we get to know each other more", "Like sometime this weekend, right?" Bitch it's Saturday 9pm...what difference do you really believe 24 hours will make? "Eh I'm not going to say all that". So earlier in convo he told me that he went sky diving. A couple of weeks ago while we were in Gatlinburg, my fam and I went indoor skydiving, so I was really interested in knowing not only how it was, but kinda what made him do it. So I asked, "So what made you decide to go skydiving? Had you been thinking about it long?" Two word response: "Just Cuz"...Boy Bye.
This makes me mad weary when I think about the other potential bullshit that may be out there. All I can think of is the line, "I can do bad by myself, I don't need no help, to starve to death"... and that's real.
Monday, July 25, 2016
Beware of the Drake-Witching Hours
It's after booty call hours and sandwiched between 'Nigga you shoulda been sleep' and 'time to get up"...
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You ever been up doing stuff that you weren't supposed to be doing and fucked around and started reminiscing on you life? No? Well let me set the scene for you.
Here I am at 1am searching my favorite porn site to see what's new. Tonight's not a night for pleasure, it's a night of entertainment. Sometimes I just watch porn for the comedic affect; hearing a girl shout about a cock makes me giggle ever time. Laugh or call me crazy if you want to, it's the simple things in life that brings me joy.
Anyway, I'm perusing, and for some reason Devin pops in my mind. Y'all remember Devin right? He lived a couple of cities away so I would drive up to go visit. He worked like 6 jobs, stupid long hours, had a son; NO time *Archie Bell and the Drells voice*. I should've known right then and there that it wasn't gonna work cause the Kid had/has no aspirations to be a step muva, but here my dumbass go trying to pursue a something-ship and shit.
So he would say that he would have more time once he moves to Detroit. He did, but he still didn't, but he DID find the time to get into a relationship with someone that he 'mysteriously' had been having an off and on relationship with for two years. Shit so was I nigga lol. While I should be enjoying some white chick get Brazzer'd the song 'Deceiving' by Drake is playing in my mental background as I recap the moments.
Next I started to think about this other guy that I talked to who had commitment issues; man we could've been lightening in a bottle. He would give me strong mixed signals by saying he didn't want to be in a relationship, but would do blatant relationship tasks. *Cue 'Think Good Thoughts'* He asked to meet my parents (lemme say that again, HE asked), shoveled the snow, would wanna go on dates, and when I said we needed to slow down he said no (lemme say that again, I said "we gotta stop the late night talking, the kissing; we gotta slow it down for a min, HE SAID NO). I broke a couple of my own rules; the hoes never meet the parents, listen to what he says cause he's telling you what he wants, also he was light skinned.
What happened next? Yep, you already know. He started dating another chick, *read with your voice getting progressively higher and louder with each word and an obligatory hand clap* even-moved-out-of-town-to-be-with-her.
*Cue 'From Time'* He's back now, claiming that there were mistakes made in his part, and that should've been me, and that I shouldn't feel like he told me no and chose her-even though that's what's happened. But perception is everything, and every other perception that's not your own is wrong when feelings are involved.
So much time as passed, and you know what I've learned? I DONT NEED A RELATIONSHIP! I don't. I could be in some bullshit that I know wouldn't last, that I'd know never work, just to say that I'm with someone, and I never want to do that. I'd rather take the time to work on self, and let God guide the right one to me. I don't mean to be impatient but Summer '16 has been lit and whomever that person is supposed to be, has missed out on some pretty epic things. Who doesn't want someone to be able to tell Come Thru
Did I just reference a booty call and God in the same paragraph. Oh Lord.
While writing this I realized that I say Brazzer way too much in text convo bec I simply pressed brazz- and it finished the word Brazzer. Why it ain't guess I was just tryna spell Brazil and put an extra 'z' by mistake? Hm? Even my phone judges me...
Monday, March 7, 2016
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