So let me tell you bout the bullshit on Soul Swipe...
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Last week I got together with some former coworkers from Quicken. My friend Tay and I were sitting outside of the Chase building waiting for our friends to get free moments so they could have came downstairs to join us for laughs and conversation.
This started with lunch at 5 Guys with KT, Tay and I. This was filled with hilarious awkwardness because Tay and he are in a situationship. At the time of lunch, they've recently had a disagreement, so you can only imaging the hi-jinx that ensued during that encounter. KT had to get back to work so he left while Tay and I finished our lunch. She let me know that while they've been kicking it for the last couple of months, he don't want to call her his girlfriend. Now the reason behind it is a kicker. Since he doesn't want to get married, he doesn't want to call her his girlfriend because he doesn't want to give her the illusion that it could lead to marriage... While I vaguely get the idea, it's still a firm look of confusion when I think about that response. I though to myself that'd I'd rather be alone than to be in another confusing, draining situationship. Been there, done that, bought a post card and I'm never going back.
At this time we get a text from our friend Ash telling us to meet her at Chase. If you've ever been to the Chase branch in Downtown Detroit, you'll know that there's a bunch of couches, tables and benches. The series of couches that we chose is an L shaped sectional which was a very vibrant, spring-y green. I felt like we were hosting a talk show and the pedestrians were our audience. Ash and I both used to have a crush on a mutual guy in our group. She was lucky enough to grasp his attention and they were pretty affectionate up until he moved to DC. I was friend zoned super hard, but when I tell you he was my mans; that was my man 7000 grand, but I digress. Needless to say, she and I have a very similar taste in men.
So she asked Tay and I were we on Soul Swipe. I had heard of it before, but I had never signed up. Oddly enough, a friend and I were just discussing whether they were on Tinder, how it was, what they thought about it, and whether they would suggest that I got on it. Ash let us know that she was currently dating a guy from the app, told us how nice he was, how happy she was, and even pulled out the app to show us that most that were on the site weren't Booger Bears. It could have been powered by the conversation that I had just had with Claude, the conversation that I had with the friend about Tinder, or the fact that I just wanted to have a steady conversation buddy, but I knew then and there that I was going to make an account on Soul Swipe...Why the fuck did I do that?
The first person I was matched with was named Dewayne. His first message to me was, "I'm at work Bored you a Cutie I must say Tell me a lil bout you what's not on SS because all I've seen on here is Rat face Dust Balls😂😂😂😂😂 But I'm so Different from most dudes hopefully you think in a good way....". Of course we started with exchanging pleasantries, getting to know you's, where are you from's, and what do you do for fun's.
Randomly he says,
"But I hope I don't run you away because like I said I'm a little Different from most guys far as my views on a Relationship and Friendships or whatever Babes".
At this point he's hinted at this twice, so I think God is tryna give me a clue. So I ask, "what exactly do you mean? What is so different that makes you think that I'd run away?".
"Don't take this the Wrong way boo not saying I'm looking for a Relationship just speaking in Boyfriend form BUT I feel like I'm the cool boyfriend type that makes me different for the simple fact I'm not the Insecure type of Dude I love for my Woman to have fun and meet new people long as she keep it real we would be good I love the Compition of it plus it's a Fetish of mine just hearing your freaky stories makes me want you more yessssss but over all Im simple I want Love at the end of the day"
Don't want to assume, so I say,
"Oh ok. Just want to make sure I understand. Are you saying that you would want an open relationship? So her having sex with other Guys is ok as long as she doesn't have an emotional relationship. Or are you saying that if your girl has male friends with no sexual contact you wouldn't be the type to be jealous?"
He says yes, and asks me if he call and explain it more on the phone. Psh. Nah bruh. I'm good. Not judging you, but we're on two different pages. You keep going and use your energy with someone who's looking for the same thing.
Next guy I get matched with is a great looking guy. He messaged me, telling me how gorgeous I am, asking me if I like light skinned guys and then we have about 15 min of "getting to know you's". Next thing he says is, "Aye girl come through lets get freaky! 😍😘😘😜💃🏽💃🏽"
Nope!
Next guy begins the same, pleasantries, getting to know you's, all that jazz. Strike one: I asked him what's some things that he likes to do, his response, "normal stuff". Later I asked him what he normally does on a Saturday, "things"...So he asked me what I was doing, and I told him I was watching Netflix with my dog. He quips, "don't you want to replace your dog with me?". *Rolls eyes* Strike Two. "Maybe sometime in the future when we get to know each other more", "Like sometime this weekend, right?" Bitch it's Saturday 9pm...what difference do you really believe 24 hours will make? "Eh I'm not going to say all that". So earlier in convo he told me that he went sky diving. A couple of weeks ago while we were in Gatlinburg, my fam and I went indoor skydiving, so I was really interested in knowing not only how it was, but kinda what made him do it. So I asked, "So what made you decide to go skydiving? Had you been thinking about it long?" Two word response: "Just Cuz"...Boy Bye.
This makes me mad weary when I think about the other potential bullshit that may be out there. All I can think of is the line, "I can do bad by myself, I don't need no help, to starve to death"... and that's real.
