One of my favorite stations is Investigation Discovery. Tonight they have an episode of Scorned which features the murder of Greg Smart that was mastermind by his wife, Pam & her 15 year old lover, Billy Flynn. She was a teacher he was her student whom she happened to seduce, take his virginity, and convince to kill her husband. One of the experts who was explaining how Billy was able to carry out the murder of his lover's husband attributed the motivation to Pam being his first. He essentially said that since Pam was Billy's first, he was deeply in love and that people will do any and everything for the love and approval of their first. I immediately thought, "Bullshit" but that could have been because I had absolutely no emotion attachment to my "first"...
My first was this guy named Joe, I don't remember where I met him, and I only remember wanting to get it over with as soon as possible. It wasn't the worst, but it wasn't the best. Most of all, I wish I would have just waited. When people start talking about their first time and recall the feeling of warm and fuzzies, I do an internal *kanye shrug*, and say "eh, it happened".
The funny part of it all is that I had more emotional attachment to almost everyone else AFTER Joe, but there's only one person I wish I would have waited for. I don't regret it because it wouldn't really change anything if I did. Right?
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