Look, I Can't Stay On The Earth No More. Another Galaxy We Must Go

Yes, it's exactly what you think it is, but not really. Actually what you're looking at is "Bath salt" which is actually cocaine's little cousin or some confusing shit like that. It's the cocaine high without the addiction and the throat drainage. It has mephedrone and methylenedioxypyrovalerone in it...go google it.



Now let's start from the beginning, for the past two weeks or so I've been looking for a water-pipe. I love hookah and since I'm not with Claude anymore (he hated smoking), I can smoke it as often as I like now. I always wanted a pipe because I think they look beautiful even as just plain decoration and have been looking more often online. Saturday, my coworkers needed to cash their checks so we were down on Colfax. In Detroit, Colfax would be a combination of Woodward and 8 Mile, so you know I was passing millions of tattoo parlors, strip clubs and corner stores. I was determining where I was going to get my second tattoo when I happened to pass a restaurant that had a water pipe decal on their window. In that moment I KNEW I wasn't going back to Detroit with a 12" water pipe in my suitcase.

Sunday, I had my plan set, I knew the address of the smoke shops, I knew what tattoo parlor I was going to, I knew what tattoo I was going to get, and I knew exactly where I was getting it. Well as you already know, my plans always fall through. Why the fuck did I think that just because I was in another state that my plans would go through?

Remember the co-workers that I said were fucking? Well they decided to go to work today and took the only car with them. They also decided to take that opportunity to go on a fuxking date to Boulder and left me car-less from 9:30-6:30...the smoke shop closed at 7 and the tattoo shop at 10. My feelings were hurt; I was hungry, I had been molested (tell you about that later), all in all the day was just fucked up...But I still haven't told the whole story.

Here we go, there's another group here from Atlanta and she that happened to call me at about 5:30 asking me what I had planned. After I told them to her, she ran down to my room. She asked me about the smoke shop and when I was going because she needed me to pick something up for her...bath salt.

Apparently, bath salt is the new drug. It gives you all the cocaine high without the drainage and addiction that comes with cocaine. We spent the whole night just walking around the hotel talking, and periodically walking into a random bathroom so that she could "powder her nose". She gave my own piece just in case I ever got the balls to sniff it. Call me a bitch but I'm not snortin that shit. I'm so straight, I already have nasal problems...I don't need to exacerbate them.

P.S. It's basically Tuesday and I STILL haven't been able to get to the smoke shop...