Apparently I'm not a real Scorpio

I have this cousin that's absolutely great. She's a mirror of me but w/ bigger boobs, an ass, and a flat stomach. I hate her but I love her lol. Anyway, she skyped me earlier today because she read my blog and noticed that I'm always talking about how I'm not having sex, how I'm horny, & how "you did the dumbest shit ever and stopped touching yourself". She also decided to question me about my sex life. Read on:
(I combined multiple messages to save space...)

Sardidoh: hey bitch

Me: hidey ho-ho

Sarididoh: so what's this shit about you giving up loving yourself?

Me: what the hell you talking about Sari?

Sarididoh: blog bitch. Your blog.

Me: talking about me giving up masturbation? Lol. I love myself, im just not rubbing myself lmao.

Sarididoh: you're a disgrace to all Scorpio's out there. No Scorpio will ever say they not going to beat off

Me: well I don't have a penis so I'm not beating off but I get what you're saying. Lol

Sarididoh: that's not funny. And you're not fucking right now? How in the hell do you not have anyone to fuck?! What about an ex or something?

Me: well there isn't that many to choose from, & you know I really only want one in particular.

Sarididoh: fuck that nigga, & what do you mean there aren't that many to choose from? You're not a virgin!

Me: yeah but I'm not a ho neither. I can count on two hands, and I won't even need all off the fingers on the 2nd one

Sarididoh: you need to be using the fingers on that 2nd hand Lmmfao. But seriously that's it? WTF type of scorpio are you? I'm killing you in the number game

Me: that's fine

Sarididoh: no bitch, it isn't. Are you sure you're bday is w/in the the right range? Bec you are the most prudish Scorpio I know

Me: yes bitch I know whn my fucking bday is

Sarididoh: oh yeah, you're an oct one. You a liborpio lmao

Me: bitch a what?

Sarididoh: a libra/scorpio. All the nastiness of a scorpio and the emotions of a libra #youaintreal

Me: oh alright. WTF. Crazy bitch

Sarididoh: you should fuck my pers. Yall will have fun

Me: right

Sarididoh: see, there you go with that withholdin and prude shit. That's why you horny right now. Ain't you?

Me: fuck you bitch don't judge me...take your white wig off. Lol