I'm Too Old For This Shit

So you know how I told you about my ex and his old ass, childish girlfriend (see previous post)? Well, the bitch is nuttier than I thought.

I Googled, "Ghetto black woman" and this came up lmao.

Friday, I turned over to a text message from EJ that that said, "I need you to call me ASAP". When I read it I thought something was wrong with the girl, maybe she went into labor early and was afraid, so I called him.

*Ring, ring, ring*

-What's wrong?

-You know the girl we were talking about last night?

-Mhm

-Well she went through my phone last night. Since she saw I called you, she thinks I'm trying to pop* you ('pop' is some ghetto heathen term for fucking).

-Oh my God are you serious? This bitch is pathetic. Ugh, give me her number.

-Hold on I'm about to call her on three way

I was so glad that he decided to talk for me, because I would've probably called her all types of dumb...

*Ring, ring, ring*

-What!

-Aye.

-What.

-You know that number you found in my phone?

-Yeah

-Well she's on the phone. You don't really like me do you?
*Time for my speaking debut*

-Nope

-You hate my guts don't you?

-Yep

-We only talk about 3-4 times a year don't we?

-Yep

-You said the next time that you saw me you would shoot me wouldn't you?
*I had to pause for a minute because I don't ever remember saying that shit. Seriously, I don't think I ever said it, and I figured at this point he was probably just trying to lay it on thick*

-Uh, ha ha, um. Probably yeah

-Ok

All I could think when I got off that phone was "I'm too old for this shit". I don't ever want to be put in that situation, unless I'm actually "popping" the person in real life lol. I'm just bullshitting, maybe?? lol But seriously, is that where we are? We tell our partner to call bitches in their phone? Shit.