Where Do I Begin?

I have a lot to catch you guys up on. I think I'll start with telling you what happened today, Sunday, which was absolutely nothing. Let me tell you, baby, it felt glorious! I'm going to do separate posts about all of the different shit that has happened over the past couple of days. Stay tuned...

I Am Just NOT A Closer

I am a big flirt, but sometimes my mouth writes checks that my tits can't cash (I say tits because I don't have an ass). I can talk all day to a guy about sex; I say penis more than a urologist and vagina more than a gynecologist, but I absolutely CANNOT ask a guy for his number.

Look, I Can't Stay On The Earth No More. Another Galaxy We Must Go

Yes, it's exactly what you think it is, but not really. Actually what you're looking at is "Bath salt" which is actually cocaine's little cousin or some confusing shit like that. It's the cocaine high without the addiction and the throat drainage. It has mephedrone and methylenedioxypyrovalerone in it...go google it.

This Shit...

I can see it happening...this fuvking trip is the one that will officially make me the loner/alcoholic type chick. Right now I'm in the bar/lobby solo at 11:45 on a Monday, sipping on a glass of Washington Apple and listening to Kid CuDi. It's just a matter of time before a guy will walk to me trying to buy a round of shots and get me fucked up. How do I know? Because it's happened everyday without fail. This shit is a crazy life to start. But fuck it, you're only 22 once right?

(Ignore the fact I need a fill-in...that gray still looks hot tho!)

{sing song-y} Awkward!

As you can see, that's a man...that's NOT my roommate Angie. I've become a cockblocker in my own room.

Shit Nicole Says

Look at this old ass man. How you 20 and look 40? These Benjamin Button ass niggas have got to go!

Shit Nicole Says

you know how I know I'm sleepy, when I close my eyes I see penis I know I'm sleepy.