True Life: I Have an Addiction To GroupOn Deals

I get so happy when I get those damn emails. I've bought so much unnecessary shit from that damn site. I bought one of those idiotic telephone things. I don't even know why I bought that shit. I make fun of people when I see them use it public, but I couldn't ignore it only being $12. I've also bought an iLuv iPod dock for like 20 bucks. It's ridiculous.

Below is a picture of all of the unnecessary shit I just NEEDED to buy




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Talking Dirty After Dark

I know I gave you a brief synopsis of Married Man; here's a more detailed story.

He and I really hit it off when we met. Talking all day-everyday and engaging in ACTIVE conversation. He was sexy as fuck with the cutest dimples and had an unbelievable personality. Finding that we have damn near everything in common and we know a lot of the same people. Shit was great.

Just as most people when they're getting to know each other, they start telling secrets. It's crucial when starting a relationship that you let them in in order to bond with them. I told him about my past relationships, my family, my goals, and simply about me in general.

He happened to tell me he and his ex lived together because "3 months after they moved into the apartment, we broke up and instead of moving out, I'm just living here to help her on the rent. The lease is up in September and I'm moving out then. It's cool because we're on opposite schedules. When I get in she's asleep and when I wake up she's gone"... Since his nickname is Married Man, I think you already know that this was a lie.

As I said we were sharing secrets/interests and such so we happened to start talking about threesomes. I don't remember exactly how we got to this confession but he happened to tell me that he got head from a guy. Said he was horny and the dude ask so he let him. He said it was alight. I was flabbergasted but you can't call anyone out on that shit when you're in the confession stage. Anyway, sugar went to shit; found out he was married and that he was an all around liar.

When shit is good and people are all in like/love you never think about the shit that you tell people. I'm not saying be careful of what you say, but I'm saying be careful in how you treat people in general. You never want to piss off the person who knows that you put your dick in another man's mouth. *Kanye Shrug* #ImJustSaying

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The Best Thing to Happen to Pregnancy Prevention Since Birth Control

A couple of days ago I got a text from a friend who was panicking because the condom was lost inside her during sex.

Upcoming blog posts

I don't feel like typing on my computer or my phone but I have some things to say. Just so I don't forget...

-Pregnancy avoidance
-Pillow talk and it's side effects
-Common denominator in failed relationships.
-The awesome-ness of the new iPad. (Coming soon)

I'll probably write them tomorrow after I leave the Apple store.

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You ol stunting ass niggas

So I was getting sunflower seeds at the gas station (yeah I'm a nigga) & there happened to be a dude there trying to get on.

As an aside, I always get hollered at when I'm not at my best. When a bitch is flawless; niggas never holla.

Anyway, so he's like, "aye boo, you tryna ride in my Challenger". So I look, and it happened to be two other people with him and one other person had a Challenger, also. I asked him how many cylinders it was and he said, "Oh you wanna act like you know cars huh? You don't know anything about cars".

I have a strong interest in cars because my dad has restored a couple. When I was younger #oombestfriends cousin used to sit on the porch at night and used to guess the car after just seeing the headlights.

Anyway, I told him to start it up and it sounded shitty so I told him, "you have a 6 cylinder...it ain't shit unless its an 8" and the dude face dropped. The other Challenger laughed and I said, "you can't say much, yours is a rental" and left while both of their mouths were often.

I can change my oil, suck a dick, cut hair and cook dinner all in the same day. I'm pretty fucking self-sufficient and don't NEED a man; I want one, and that's a pretty big damn difference lol.


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Best Way to Get Over Someone?? Get Under Someone Else

Last Monday, my car prep/driver came in & was looking a little long in the face so I asked him what was wrong...

Anger Management

So I was talking to the homie and we were venting about work when she happened to mention going to a therapist to talk about all her disillusionment associated with her job. It made me think about the day when I told my mom that I needed anger management.