SHOES!!

Ain't they precious?! Plus, they were only $17...I win!

Death In A Dixie Cup: My Encounter With Liquid Cocaine

So I went up to State to visit Cupcake last week. Friday, the first day I got there, we embarked on a bar crawl. In my four years at Grand Valley, I had never been to a bar crawl. Better late than never.

The second stop of the bar crawl was at a brewery. Cupcake had been talking about a drink name, "Liquid Cocaine", and I figured it would be pretty good since I'm a fan of "Liquid Marijuana". Let me go on record saying this, do not drink Liquid Cocaine unless you don't like your life.

Ah, to be young...Memories

So I was on the phone with the Bestest while he was on his way to work and I got a phone call. The number was blocked, but it didn't matter, I answered it anyway.

*Puts on white person business voice*
"Hello?"
*click*

Now I know that the white person voice didn't throw someone off that much, so I concluded someone was playing on my phone...

Celebrity Apprentice

Is now my shit! I spent the weekend up at State, had a fucking ball btw, and when I woke up this morning Cupcake was watching Celebrity Apprentice. I had never saw the show before, EVER, but I did want to start watching it this season because I knew a lot of the people that were being featured. So here I am, watching the 5th episode, and from then on I was HOOKED.

I'm Too Old For This Shit

So you know how I told you about my ex and his old ass, childish girlfriend (see previous post)? Well, the bitch is nuttier than I thought.

I Googled, "Ghetto black woman" and this came up lmao.

Guys, get it together please...

Sheesh, I don't know where to start. I have this ex named EJ, he ain't shit, no job, never finished school, and doesn't have any aspirations...the epitome of an ain't shit nigga. Aye, aye, AYE! I feel you judging me! Take your white wig off! I was a freshman in college and he was a senior in high school, so he had potential to be more. He just decided to not do shit.

He, like so many other of my exes/friends, called me today and asked me for relationship advice. He was telling me that his girl is super jealous, is always angry with him, and just blows up about small stuff. Nothing really out the ordinary right? She seems like a pretty normal chick right? Well, just wait.

An older woman (man) put a nigga (me) on their bucket list - Wale

Lately I've been thinking about the things that I've been wanting to do before I die. I'll continue to add things as I think of them. (They aren't in any particular order)

1. Go to London
2. Go to Amsterdam
3. Visit an opium den
4. Stand/walk in quick sand
5. Smang someone on my short list
6. Stock my apt/house w/ furniture from Pottery Barn & Bombay (cause they're so fancy lol)
7. Pay off my car
8. Blow a weekend in Vegas
9. Buy a pair of LouBoutin's
10. Own 50 pair of Dunks (Of all different colors & heights!)
11. Skydive
12. Zip line
13. Go on a safari
14. Spend as much time as possible in Philly, New York, DMV & Boston. (Hopefully moving to one of those places)
15. Be able to pay my parents bills in full.
16. Float in the Dead Sea
17. Check out the pyramids
18. Chill in a hot spring
19. Ski/snowboard
20. Engage in a 3some (Come on, you knew some dirty shit were coming eventually)
21. Go to the Caribbean
22. See Amy Winehouse in concert
23. See Jill Scott in concert
24. See Little Brother in concert (since they're no longer together, I'll settle for a Foreign Exchange Concert)
25. Spend some time in Toronto.
26. White Water Rafting

Those are all the things that I can think of right now, I'm going to add more whenever it comes to mind